Don’t abandon hope any who enter here. I have felt very hopeless of late but its starting to come back to me.
So Its been a while. A long while. I did feel that this little seedling of a blog had been abandoned but here I am again ready to give it another go.
Its been a challenging few months. The summer went by in fear, despair and anxiety with little or no good news. Often not even a reason to get out of bed in the morning. Needless to say that every sphere of my life has recently been hit and some fully annihilated.
But I guess I must be a cockroach as here i am – surviving. Eventually maybe even thriving.
In the back of my mind the whole time though was my work. My writing. Was this the legendary writers block? Was i unable to write? I dont think it was. I just needed all my mental capacity to keep my self going and I didn’t have any spare time or energy to feed my characters and to edit edit edit.
Yet they were all still there. Still living their lives and reliving certain actions and events. Their world kept unfolding in my mind even if the fingers never touched keys and pen never touched paper.
In the midst of anger or sadness It would occur to me that Edgar must have known Nick and that when Miles went missing of all the people in the world he would have a t least considered going to one of them. And what of the elusive uncle? Was he that elusive or was he about to come in from the cold? On and on it went. It wasn’t a shelter or a pass time. I never actively sought to think of the book. If anything I tried to put it out of my mind, sick with guilt that I had devoted it no time in months.
As Lear said “Nothing will come of nothing”. I too had always thought that no effort would bring no results. But it seems its not always the case. They kept on living and playing out their lives and every once in a while i saw what they were up to, surprised at the elegant moves some had made too gentle and elegant for me ever to have thought of them.
So I’m back and ready to start listening to them again and to start writing and editing.
The cold slap of water in the face will come tonight where the writing group will review a small yet vital chapter of mine. Having reread it today It needs a lot of work and the amateur spelling mistakes and autocorrect spell checker (I think i wrote the chapter on my iPhone!) are embarrassing – My favourite (most awful one) is “i witness”. *face palm*
They will rip me to shreds. Yet it will help me and I oh so deserve it!
Wish me luck.