Quo Vadis?

I’m not really sure where I am going. I know where I have been today. Caffeine town, on Doubt alley.

I have managed to edit 20 thousand words. And what have I learnt? That I use the word “hiss” at least once a page – and no I’m not writing about snakes; that I use the word “order” nine times in one paragraph; that I CANNOT spell and that punctuation is something I leave to those that know who to wield it.

None of this is helpful. Neither is thinking about the flaws, the gaps and the omissions. We all know what it’s like. You put the manuscript in the bottom draw for a few weeks. One day it’s time to peek at it again only to find that it’s awful and terrible.

I’m putting it down for tonight. I will be picking it up tomorrow bright and early (as bright and early as my hangover allows!) and not only will I be killing my darlings, I will be smashing them, burning them, torturing them till they make me both weep and sing with delight. Then I will kill them some more.

I can’t despair. Not after nearly eighty thousand words.


3 thoughts on “Quo Vadis?

  1. The joys of editing 🙂

    I have been where you are and felt the same pain. You spend months writing the first draft and think, that’s not bad. Then after the period of time in the bottom drawer, read it for the first time and think O M G.

    I spend second and third drafts changing things around, removing the repetition and do so with a good thesaurus at the ready. Don’t dispair, first drafts are supposed to be awful, Hemingway said that “the first draft of anything is shit.” future drafts craft it to what you want.

    Good luck with the edits.

    • Thanks Pete 🙂 Its good to hear that I’m not the only one that hits these points. I will persevere. WHatever it turns out to be I WILL finish – come what may 🙂

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